Today there was a breaking on Politico
that Chelsea Clinton announced her pregnancy with her first child. Now although the prospect of childrearing is
something that we here at Trap Satellite fear more than our own deaths (and not
just regular death, either. One of those slow, gruesome, and unlikely deaths
suited only for a mob drama or a round of Would-you-Rather),
it suffices to say that starting a family is a personal decision that can/does
serve as a good for many people. I am sure that the Clintons, being looked at
in the context of any other family, have reached a very happy
milestone—inspiring joy and well wishes from anyone with half a heart.
Now that the obligatory, often unavoidable
“I’m-not-a-(whatever’s appropriate at the time)ist,-but…” moment is out of the
way, it should also cause anyone else who is an avid House of Cards fan to raise an eyebrow. Watching that show makes it too hard not to think that
Chelsea’s timing is a little too good. After reading a New Yorker article
yesterday about a forthcoming autobiography by Senator and Occupy-Darling
Elizabeth Warren (D-Massachusetts), who swears she has no intentions of running,
you can already see the pre-caucus cold war unfolding. Hillary seems to live up
to the gun-to-a-fistfight vibe she gives off in the face of this presidential
election on the horizon. “Oh, you’re coming out with a book? That’s nice (click-clack). I’m coming out with a grandkid!” The juggernaut rolls
on (which, upon a little extra research,
turned out to be the perfect word to have used). I wonder what real people (if
any) inspire Claire Underwood’s character?
Ah but we can still steer the subject matter of this
announcement gently toward the (proverbial) trap. That Politico article made
mention that the announcement was made during a No Ceilings event (I know,
we’ll get to that. Don’t mean to jump the gun). No Ceilings is an initiative
headed by the former Secretary of State, with a goal, according to the Clinton
Foundation’s website,
to “accelerate progress for women and girls around the world.” It’s a noble and
necessary program, and worth checking out if you get a second...but why that name?
Now, I’m not an idiot. I know the program’s name must be
meant to express its hopes of breaking the “glass ceiling,”—the intangible
phenomenon in professional life that causes many women to find themselves in at
a lower wage level relative to their male counterparts, regardless of their
qualifications. But was there not at least one
name for the program that isn’t the same as that of Lil Wayne’s classic,
monumental, 2009 mixtape—a final
blown kiss of lyrical savagery
before he started his prison stint?
The rub here is that the Democratic Party gets the credit
for being more in touch with women, minorities, and Millenials—the latter’s
notable swaths of whom are Lil Wayne fans…or at least were at the time. This
(sadly) is not a post about rap politics, just a bit of the conventional,
less-cool kind. It is a tad disconcerting that on the team of the Party’s
leading woman, there was not one confidante, staffer, or intern who had strong
enough base knowledge of pop culture to ask “are you sure about that title?”
Perhaps it is possible that just because the left is less out-of-touch than the
right, it might not mean they are necessarily in-touch.
Do I expect Hillary Clinton to pretend to love Lil Wayne, as
many young folks do? Absolutely not. But why not make a mention of it on the
initial interview tour after the project’s launch, and have a cheap laugh over
it? It could have even served as a nice segue into a discussion about mass incarceration
run amok. The fact that Lil Wayne went down for smoking some pot, and being in
the general vicinity of someone else’s gun (with the registration as
proof of that fact). Taking a pit stop to explain further, let’s play the
“If-Lil-Wayne-Were-Not-Lil-Wayne” game:
Had Lil Wayne not been Lil Wayne…
-He wouldn’t have been
able to delay the sentence, which, quite possibly, also could have been longer.
-He might have had to
serve a larger portion of his sentence.
-He would have lost
his voting rights. He would have been precluded from most government aid or
education grants.
-He would have been
almost guaranteed to never land a job with a sustainable wage.
-His life would
effectively be ruined, relegating him to the lowest and most vulnerable rung of
society, all but guaranteeing that he recidivates.
And so ends the ill-fated exercise of wishing one’s
politicians shared one’s love of rap. However, taking up the crux of the
aforementioned issues if/when she’s elected president really would be a nice
way for Hillary to redeem a few of her already scant trill-points.
This got very soap-boxy, very quickly. But don’t be alarmed.
These are mere observations.
#imsayindoe
