This is a concert review: Everything I presumed about Rick Ross is a lie. To you I-told-you-soers hollering in the back about how he's a former CO and not the real Rick Ross, you provide me no new revelations. Please now be seated.
Let me preface this by saying I don't get out much. I also, as it turns out, don’t get in much
either…as in sit still to write this post, or many posts for that matter.
Looking at my shoddy history, it appears that every 18 months or so, I get so
mad about Hillary Clinton that I have to yell into the desolate and vacuous
internet, and oddly enough, acknowledgement of that does little to reduce my
level of satisfaction.
Woah. And in looking for that image, guess what else I found and I went nuts for it on the spot:
Incredible. We did win Wisconsin tonight, by the way. See that?
She almost hijacked this post too!
Also
preface this by saying that I know I have a big taste for raps macro brews.
I’ll take that willingly. But on this night, it sank in just how fat Ross is. Long story short, he’s just soo
fat! I’m not calling him “fat” in the sense of physique—I’m the last person who
should be a body-shamer. I’m saying he gave a lazy performance, thus making him
fat in spirit. Really, really fat.
He was
2 hours late. I don’t mean to be a so-and-so about it, but he was slated to
start at 8. He didn’t come on stage until 10:30 or so. The Power 92 DJ spun
some of all the top rap hits while we waited. So effectively, we spent 2+ hours
listening to 92.3 (Live!)…While I'm
sitting there drinking 2 gin and tonics at a time like an idiot.
Ross’s
being late further eroded his mystique for me. Bosses are punctual. What boss do you know became a boss by being late to stuff?! But I should be one to
talk, because you know what bosses also don’t
do? They don’t comply sheepishly to the 2-drink-minimum rules by double-fisting
gin and tonics. I, friends, am not a boss either. But that should come as no
surprise, due to my lack of a record deal...or records.
When
the DJ is spinning “I’m A Boss” around 10:30, Ross finally shows up on stage
during the first chorus—after Meek Mill’s verse…you know, “I’m a boss (ugh)!/
I’m a boss (ugh)!” That part. He comes in, drops his luggage, and ughs along
with the recording. Crowd goes ape shit—including the author of this post, who by this point
is 3 rounds deep in complying with the house drink rules. I stopped caring
about how late he was, and didn’t get angry about it again until days later. I
feel this was his plan all along.
As far
as the performance itself, whose start point is debatable (my friends say it
was when he first came on stage. I started my clock towards the fade-out
portion of “I’m A Boss” when Ross and his hype man were passing out posters to
the first couple rows), it was nevertheless lazy. He did his slower-paced songs. In
other words, he leaned more toward your Stay Schemin’s and 9 Pieces, as opposed
to your MC Hammers and Drug Dealer’s Dreams.
An aside on “Drug Dealer’s
Dream”: “Drug
Dealer’s Dream” is my theme song. It, for whatever reason, has a lot of
significance for me. And I just don’t know. I can always lift more weight or
walk into the office with more swag if it’s playing. You can get it to apply to
any aspect of your life if you want it to. “Drug Dealer’s Dream” is incredible.
However, “Drug Dealer’s Dream” was not performed.
And
now…
An aside on “9 Piece”: He played it twice. At least twice. The same goes for “B.M.F.”
Great songs, yes. But like I said, he was leaning on his slower songs. So fat
(read: lazy).
By now,
it should be apparent to you that I’m really into Rick Ross. Like really,
really into Rick Ross. So to throw a positive into this experience, he did play a ton of stuff he played from Rich Forever—a work virtually unknown to
casual Ross fans (aka everybody). So that I appreciated. But with that being
said, I was still greatly disenchanted by the performance. If you were to ask
Ross himself how the show went, he’d probably say “I came. I saw. I conquered.”
But if you asked me, I’d say “He came (late). He ughed. He passed out posters.”
Oh, and I should mention that his hype man did most of the rapping. For 2/3 of
the show, you could barely hear Ross himself.
Furthermore,
there were no t-shirts to buy afterwards. I’m all about copping the shirt. But
sadly, the only thing there was to get was a promotional poster for Black Dollar, which I still haven’t
listened to. That’s another thing that speaks to how macro he is, he’s releasing
these albums too fast! Honestly, I haven’t picked anything up after Mastermind. Because in my opinion he
false-started on Rich Forever, and
never made up for it. And now with these latest outings (Black Dollar, Black Billionaire, Black Something Other Thing), I
just plain can’t keep up. I have to make sure I’m all caught up for his next
release. Not sure what the title is yet, but history suggests that it will be
the word “black,” followed by some economic/monetary term. I waited too long to
write this. Let’s just pass the time making this title thing into a game.
Black Inflation
Black Gold
Black Gold Standard
Black Interest Rates
Black Monetary Policy
Black Tax Haven (I waited so long to post this
that it’s now topical!)
Black Tax Incentive
Black Tax Break
BMF 2 (Black Monetary Fund)
Black Market Index (or BMI…which could double as a
fat joke. Of course we do not condone body-shaming here)
Black Fiat Currency
Black Account of Note
Black Refinancing
Black Audit
Black Market…wait. That’s one of the titles,
isn’t it? I work too much, it’s hard to keep up.
Black Industrial Average
Black Credit Swap
Mortgage-Blacked Securities
Black Market Bubble
Black Arbitrage
Black Exchange Rate
Black British Royal Pound
Black Weakened Euro
Black Private-Sector Job Growth
Black Quarterly Earnings
Black Christine Legarde
Black Quantitative Easing
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