Denmark's Economy Minister, Margrethe Vestager, has my vote for most impactful woman in Europe--not IMF Managing Director Christine Legarde, or this blogs parodic namesake. This is a conclusion I came to upon...well...learning who she is. I think Legarde is dope. But now I have a new favorite.
But I have always felt some typa way about the enthusiasm behind Angela Merkel--partially catalyzed by her being Time's Person of the Year in 2015. I tip my hat to her in terms of the current refugee crisis. But all the positives of what was achieved in during this crisis, and during the Grexit, is way overblown to me. This has all come at the expense of kicking Greece around!
Ukraine--yeah we imposed sanctions, but the only ones tht were going to have any teeth were going to be born of Europe. And look who is Gazporom's biggest customer? Germany? Home to apparent mega-diplomat Angela Merkel. But Vestager took on Gazprom. No one else is doing this stuff. The southern european countries are ripped on too much. Greece has been more-or-less welcoming to the refugees. but then many of the Balkan countries along the overland route are closing their borders.
and just ask Vittorio Grilli about the Euro financial crisis. And maybe ask L. Randal Wray. Italy and Greece went down because the jumped in to help--as is the philosophy/point behind even having a fucking European Union in the first place! At least I thought. And look who stayed tight-wadded? Germany? But apparently she some dynamo now, and we could all learn something from Germany's leadership. But in reality, the southern EU countries are arguably better examples of what you should be doing.
The IMF kept Greece in as a face-saver. It was not in Greece's best long-term financial interests, nor was it in Europe's short-term financial interests. Greeks living there were like yo. We've already been austere as fuck for the longest. Do it 5 more years and we can rebuild? Why the hell not? I'd better get up. My butt hurts, and I realized its Good Friday. I need to get a fucking rental car.
NOTE: It is clearly not Good Friday at the time I published. This I was sitting on the floor of Albequerque airport (while my laptop charged) and was still salty about missing my original flight from LAX the night before. I didn't really get past going in on Merkel, but look up Margarethe Vestager when you get the chance. She's dope.
(video courtesy of The Chicago Council on Global Affairs)
When I heard that Robert Gates was in town and was going to give a talk
on leadership, I jumped at the opportunity. The most I knew about him, at the
time that I signed up for this, is that he was George W. Bush’s Secretary of
Defense for a spell. What I found out during the talk was that he has worked
for a number of different administrations.
The responsible thing to do here is to elaborate on that, but this info
is Wikipedia-able. Being that I’m finally getting around to a post about something that
happened over a month ago, I am going to forgo this step. Dr. Gates has a 40-year
history—current President of the Boy Scouts of America, ex-CIA, a bunch of other
stuff. It turns out that the main draw for his latest book (and this talk by
extension) was that he had been at the head of a diverse array of
organizations. Therefore he is quite qualified to convey some wisdom on
leardership that an be used universally.
But an aside on the
ex-CIA tip:
When asked about the
general state of affairs abroad, Gates cracked this joke about how people in
the intelligence community are naturally pessimistic. “If [an intelligence
officer] stops to smell the roses, he’s looking around for the coffin.” I
thought that was really funny! I
probably laughed the loudest out of the hundreds and hundreds of people in that
Fairmont Hotel banquet hall. Good thing I sat in the back. And that’s when it
dawned on me that I pretty much have the same sense of humor as a super
old-school Texan man.
So the one benefit of
procrastinating on this for so long is that I earned some perspective. Instead
of just regurgitating on what happened (there’s the video on the internet for
that), I’m going to give you my inferred takeaways on what Robert Gates thinks
about current things.
Like many adults of
his age and background, he’s disenchanted with the millennial generation.
In response to someone’s question about the decline in the
number of public servants under age 35, Gates got applause for his suggestion
for there to be mandatory national service program for people to join once a person
turns 18 (sounds kind of big government-ish to me, but that’s also just me
being a troll). Buthow is there
such disappointment in this age group’s lack of commitment to public service? We’re
crushed by debt, man! Here’s all I have to say:
He’s really into thinking that “young people” should
consider serving their fellow Americans. Maybe if we weren’t all so broke, we
could consider it. Take Donald Trump, for instance. Trump is a baffling
individual—and not even for the obvious reasons. He’s a billionaire. Why does
he want to take on the stress of leading the world’s most powerful country to
the tune of a measly $400k a year? Adults these days…I tell ya.
Robert is not really
fuckin’ with that Iranian deal.
I infer this, at least in part, by a little quip he made
about the weather out in D.C. Mind you, this event took place right after that
huge snowstorm on the east coast. Gates joked “everything in Washington is frozen
except Iranian assets!” And I thought it was funny. As. Fuck. I laughed pretty
loud, while everyone else just sort of tee-heed (strike two for my old-timey
sense of humor). But that aside, I think the removal of US sanctions is really
sticking out in Dr. Gates’s mind at the moment—to say the least. What compounds
this is that at the wrap-up of Q&A, someone asked about what counties
should be major players in the (so-called) US-led coalition against ISIS. To
this question,Gates responded:
·“A
Shia-led, Iranian backed government in Baghdad, welcoming the forces of sunni
countries to help sunnis is not gonna happen.”
·So in light of that type of response, I feel the
Iranian deal really irks him. But it is at this point that I differ with the
former Secretary.
A Tehran-backed Shiite militia seems farfetched at the
moment, but we’re getting warmer and warmer with Tehran every day—so much so,
one could say, that these warming relations between Washington and Tehran have
pushed Saudi anxieties to the tipping point (see the diplomatic fallout after
the execution of Sheik Nimr-al-Nimr).
One could (and people do) make the argument that the al Nimr
situation is not borne of sectarian animosity, so much as rock-bottom oil
prices and the waning of Saudi Arabia’s economic utility (as far as the US is
concerned). That being said, it is not hard to fathom a Tehran, delighted with
new Western outlets for consumerism, become willing to take the on-the-ground
role of keeping Iraq calm. Ain’t no tellin’. Aint noooo telling.
NO TELLING!
So that’s my spiel for now. My hope is that these become
more polished, and put out more promptly and often. From my laptop, this has been amateur reporter on this event, Angela
Twerkel.
This is a concert review: Everything I presumed about Rick Ross is a lie. To you I-told-you-soers hollering in the back about how he's a former CO and not the real Rick Ross, you provide me no new revelations. Please now be seated.
Let me preface this by saying I don't get out much. I also, as it turns out, don’t get in much
either…as in sit still to write this post, or many posts for that matter.
Looking at my shoddy history, it appears that every 18 months or so, I get so
mad about Hillary Clinton that I have to yell into the desolate and vacuous
internet, and oddly enough, acknowledgement of that does little to reduce my
level of satisfaction.
Woah. And in looking for that image, guess what else I found and I went nuts for it on the spot:
Incredible. We did win Wisconsin tonight, by the way. See that?
She almost hijacked this post too!
Also
preface this by saying that I know I have a big taste for raps macro brews.
I’ll take that willingly. But on this night, it sank in just how fat Ross is. Long story short, he’s just soo
fat! I’m not calling him “fat” in the sense of physique—I’m the last person who
should be a body-shamer. I’m saying he gave a lazy performance, thus making him
fat in spirit. Really, really fat.
He was
2 hours late. I don’t mean to be a so-and-so about it, but he was slated to
start at 8. He didn’t come on stage until 10:30 or so. The Power 92 DJ spun
some of all the top rap hits while we waited. So effectively, we spent 2+ hours
listening to 92.3 (Live!)…While I'm
sitting there drinking 2 gin and tonics at a time like an idiot.
Ross’s
being late further eroded his mystique for me. Bosses are punctual. What boss do you know became a boss by being late to stuff?! But I should be one to
talk, because you know what bosses also don’t
do? They don’t comply sheepishly to the 2-drink-minimum rules by double-fisting
gin and tonics. I, friends, am not a boss either. But that should come as no
surprise, due to my lack of a record deal...or records.
When
the DJ is spinning “I’m A Boss” around 10:30, Ross finally shows up on stage
during the first chorus—after Meek Mill’s verse…you know, “I’m a boss (ugh)!/
I’m a boss (ugh)!” That part. He comes in, drops his luggage, and ughs along
with the recording. Crowd goes ape shit—including the author of this post, who by this point
is 3 rounds deep in complying with the house drink rules. I stopped caring
about how late he was, and didn’t get angry about it again until days later. I
feel this was his plan all along.
As far
as the performance itself, whose start point is debatable (my friends say it
was when he first came on stage. I started my clock towards the fade-out
portion of “I’m A Boss” when Ross and his hype man were passing out posters to
the first couple rows), it was nevertheless lazy. He did his slower-paced songs. In
other words, he leaned more toward your Stay Schemin’s and 9 Pieces, as opposed
to your MC Hammers and Drug Dealer’s Dreams.
An aside on “Drug Dealer’s
Dream”:“Drug
Dealer’s Dream” is my theme song. It, for whatever reason, has a lot of
significance for me. And I just don’t know. I can always lift more weight or
walk into the office with more swag if it’s playing. You can get it to apply to
any aspect of your life if you want it to. “Drug Dealer’s Dream” is incredible.
However, “Drug Dealer’s Dream” was not performed.
And
now…
An aside on “9 Piece”:He played it twice. At least twice. The same goes for “B.M.F.”
Great songs, yes. But like I said, he was leaning on his slower songs. So fat
(read: lazy).
By now,
it should be apparent to you that I’m really into Rick Ross. Like really,
really into Rick Ross. So to throw a positive into this experience, hedid play a ton of stuff he played from Rich Forever—a work virtually unknown to
casual Ross fans (aka everybody). So that I appreciated. But with that being
said, I was still greatly disenchanted by the performance. If you were to ask
Ross himself how the show went, he’d probably say “I came. I saw. I conquered.”
But if you asked me, I’d say “He came (late). He ughed. He passed out posters.”
Oh, and I should mention that his hype man did most of the rapping. For 2/3 of
the show, you could barely hear Ross himself.
Furthermore,
there were no t-shirts to buy afterwards. I’m all about copping the shirt. But
sadly, the only thing there was to get was a promotional poster for Black Dollar, which I still haven’t
listened to. That’s another thing that speaks to how macro he is, he’s releasing
these albums too fast! Honestly, I haven’t picked anything up after Mastermind. Because in my opinion he
false-started on Rich Forever, and
never made up for it. And now with these latest outings (Black Dollar, Black Billionaire, Black Something Other Thing), I
just plain can’t keep up. I have to make sure I’m all caught up for his next
release. Not sure what the title is yet, but history suggests that it will be
the word “black,” followed by some economic/monetary term. I waited too long to
write this. Let’s just pass the time making this title thing into a game.
Black Inflation
Black Gold
Black Gold Standard
Black Interest Rates
Black Monetary Policy
Black Tax Haven (I waited so long to post this
that it’s now topical!)
Black Tax Incentive
Black Tax Break
BMF 2 (Black Monetary Fund)
Black Market Index (or BMI…which could double as a
fat joke. Of course we do not condone body-shaming here)
Black Fiat Currency
Black Account of Note
Black Refinancing
Black Audit
Black Market…wait. That’s one of the titles,
isn’t it? I work too much, it’s hard to keep up.
For those of you keeping score at home, the title of this
post is indeed a Space Jam reference.
Hopefully the title will make more sense as you read on. This post is about Hillary Clinton--someone who certainly looks like a familiar liberal face, but whose actual liberal powers have been stolen by the Monstars (the Monstars, in this case, being the change in her party's trajectory over the past 20 years).
This post is also about Bernie Sanders--someone who better embodies the Democratic Party's current ideology, but seemingly gets no credit for it. Now cue the tactless
blogger who saw something on TV/read something on the internet that made them
mad.
Consider the following aside from Ted Koppel, during a segment he did on Chicago Tonight with Phil Ponce.
“I have enjoyed watching the good senator from Vermont have
a more spirited campaign than many expected, but I do not believe he will be
the candidate.”
Naturally, Koppel says that coming only from
a place of profound experience and wisdom about the political cycle. Not only
the political cycle, but all the other intangibles about this country’s
institutions and the way things work.
The same can be said of New Years Eve’s article by David
Rothkopf, “The
Year The United States Elects Its First Woman President,” though I found
the piece to be little more than a tasteful reposition of obvious
questions.In it, Rothkopf makes
the following statement:
"The arithmetic is pretty straightforward. She will
be the Democratic nominee. The Republican Party is in disarray and still has to
rid itself of the existential threat that the candidacy of Donald Trump poses
before settling on another candidate who, judging from the current field, will
likely be weak and flawed."
Sure, such an existential crisis is glaringly obvious on the
Republican side. But what about the Democrats? What about Bernie Sanders, the real Democrat?
I feel like the whole world is writing Bernie Sanders off
already. When it comes down to it, all Bernie really wants to do is put us on
par with every other 1st-world
country out there. Please don’t be fooled by the cumbersome way he has thus far
described “socialism” or “social democracy.” I’ll help you out. Next time you
hear these terms used by the media (or Bernie himself) to describe his platform,
think Canada, think Sweden, think the UK. When it comes to western governance,
the US is the odd man out, and Bernie merely seeks to help us get with the
times!
He’s in favor of things like expanded education,
single-payer healthcare, not voting during the work week, and gun control.
While we’re on the subject of gun control, I haven’t been
happy with how Bernie has handled this in debates, but next time you hear
Hillary Clinton try to come at him about gun control, remember he’s from
Vermont—a largely rural state where gun violence is not the insidious crisis
that it is in so many other places. And he shouldn’t be downed for being a faithful
senator and voting his state!
But lately, I have been reading a lot of articles that seem
to subtly throw in the towel on Bernie’s behalf. Perhaps for good and wise
reasoning (first and last concession), many are writing articles that come from
an angle or assumption that Hillary will handily secure the nomination. Just
recently, I read “6
moments that could haunt Hillary Clinton.” It spells out the things that
could hamper her in the general election!
Like she’s already won! I could not possibly be S-ing my H any harder.
I have a friend. He’s a liberal, but that comes second. His
first billing would be anti-conservative. Speaking with him, I always take the
stance of saying that I don’t feel that Hillary Clinton really embodies the
modern or contemporary values of one who is left-of-center. And he always
responds with “yeah, but she’s our best chance for the Democrats to win!” And he’ll go on to say something
like “Her husband is Bill Clinton for
crying out loud! Bill. Clinton.” And it’s at this point that I take on the contrarian
view, and lay out some examples of Bill Clinton’s philosophy not jiving with
that of today’s garden-variety liberal (and I may or may not do so in a voice
intended as a bad Lionel
Hutz impression):
Yes. I am familiar with the Cato Institute and what some
writing of theirs sets out to accomplish. But on this blog,
real-recognize-real. Simple as that. Anyway, you were saying, Mr. Hutz?)
The same Bill Clinton who signed DOMA?
The same Bill Clinton who instituted Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?
Now I’m no big-city lawyer (crowd gasps), but that doesn’t
sound like a Democrat to me…at least not a 21st
Century Democrat! Don’t get me wrong. I love Bill as much as anyone else
out there who can fog a mirror.
My point here is this: Perhaps 1993’s centrist democrat is a
little closer ideologically to today’s establishment republican. Yesterday’s Bill Clinton might be closer
to today’s Mitch McConnell…or today’s John McCain…or today’s Hillary Clinton! With that type of
ideological company, I don’t think that it’s fair to either party for Hillary
Clinton to basically be grandfathered into the Democratic nomination.
Also let’s talk voting record. She’s to the right of most of
her democratic peers on a swath of issues…including women’s rights,
student-debt reform, and wall-street reform. Let’s not forget that she’s to the
right of Obama, and that’s a big part
of why he got the nomination over her in ’08.
In the spirit of our young friend above, you mean to tell me
that she served as a senator from New York in the early to mid 2000s, has a
base of operations in Manhattan, and if elected she somehow won’t be beholden to Wall Street? I
cannot fathom that.
And if you didn’t know that this post was about Hillary
Clinton, you’d have presumed this to be the description of some rank-and-file GOP congressman.
Basically my main bone to pick is that I feel Bernie is the
only Democrat really in the race…and I think that should be his platform! When
do the gloves come off for the Bernie camp? I was hoping to see a bit of a new
offensive in the New Year, but things remain frustratingly quiet.
Sorry guys, when I look at Secretary Clinton, I see a
candidate who enjoys an entirely de facto political platform.I see someone with a rather hawkish
senatorial record. I see a former corporate lawyer who takes to a boardroom
like a fish to water. I see someone who was Secretary of State for an
administration whose foreign policy only got good after she left! See: Cuba and Iran. Both are post-Clinton.
Hey remember that time she bit poor Terry Gross’s head off
on Fresh Air when asked about her
position on marriage equality? She wants you to forget. The establishment and
DNC puppeteers want you to forget. But we have not, have we?
We’ll stop here because this post has become (more)
tangential. There’ll surely be future opportunities to go in on Hillary
Clinton’s false-flaggery. Let’s just suffice it to say that this Hillary thing
doesn’t have to be inevitable if we don’t want it to be.
I invite you now to check out the unfiltered version of Hillary’s
voting record. I really wasn’t kidding about it:
Today there was a breaking on Politico
that Chelsea Clinton announced her pregnancy with her first child. Now although the prospect of childrearing is
something that we here at Trap Satellite fear more than our own deaths (and not
just regular death, either. One of those slow, gruesome, and unlikely deaths
suited only for a mob drama or a round of Would-you-Rather),
it suffices to say that starting a family is a personal decision that can/does
serve as a good for many people. I am sure that the Clintons, being looked at
in the context of any other family, have reached a very happy
milestone—inspiring joy and well wishes from anyone with half a heart.
Now that the obligatory, often unavoidable
“I’m-not-a-(whatever’s appropriate at the time)ist,-but…” moment is out of the
way, it should also cause anyone else who is an avid House of Cards fan to raise an eyebrow. Watching that show makes it too hard not to think that
Chelsea’s timing is a little too good. After reading a New Yorkerarticle
yesterday about a forthcoming autobiography by Senator and Occupy-Darling
Elizabeth Warren (D-Massachusetts), who swears she has no intentions of running,
you can already see the pre-caucus cold war unfolding. Hillary seems to live up
to the gun-to-a-fistfight vibe she gives off in the face of this presidential
election on the horizon. “Oh, you’re coming out with a book? That’s nice (click-clack). I’m coming out with a grandkid!” The juggernaut rolls
on (which, upon a little extra research,
turned out to be the perfect word to have used). I wonder what real people (if
any) inspire Claire Underwood’s character?
Ah but we can still steer the subject matter of this
announcement gently toward the (proverbial) trap. That Politico article made
mention that the announcement was made during a No Ceilings event (I know,
we’ll get to that. Don’t mean to jump the gun). No Ceilings is an initiative
headed by the former Secretary of State, with a goal, according to the Clinton
Foundation’s website,
to “accelerate progress for women and girls around the world.” It’s a noble and
necessary program, and worth checking out if you get a second...but why that name?
Now, I’m not an idiot. I know the program’s name must be
meant to express its hopes of breaking the “glass ceiling,”—the intangible
phenomenon in professional life that causes many women to find themselves in at
a lower wage level relative to their male counterparts, regardless of their
qualifications. But was there not at least one
name for the program that isn’t the same as that of Lil Wayne’s classic,
monumental,2009 mixtape—a final
blown kiss of lyrical savagery
before he started his prison stint?
The rub here is that the Democratic Party gets the credit
for being more in touch with women, minorities, and Millenials—the latter’s
notable swaths of whom are Lil Wayne fans…or at least were at the time. This
(sadly) is not a post about rap politics, just a bit of the conventional,
less-cool kind. It is a tad disconcerting that on the team of the Party’s
leading woman, there was not one confidante, staffer, or intern who had strong
enough base knowledge of pop culture to ask “are you sure about that title?”
Perhaps it is possible that just because the left is less out-of-touch than the
right, it might not mean they are necessarily in-touch.
Do I expect Hillary Clinton to pretend to love Lil Wayne, as
many young folks do? Absolutely not. But why not make a mention of it on the
initial interview tour after the project’s launch, and have a cheap laugh over
it? It could have even served as a nice segue into a discussion about mass incarceration
run amok. The fact that Lil Wayne went down for smoking some pot, and being in
the general vicinity ofsomeone else’s gun (with the registration as
proof of that fact). Taking a pit stop to explain further, let’s play the
“If-Lil-Wayne-Were-Not-Lil-Wayne” game:
Had Lil Wayne not been Lil Wayne…
-He wouldn’t have been
able to delay the sentence, which, quite possibly, also could have been longer.
-He might have had to
serve a larger portion of his sentence.
-He would have lost
his voting rights. He would have been precluded from most government aid or
education grants.
-He would have been
almost guaranteed to never land a job with a sustainable wage.
-His life would
effectively be ruined, relegating him to the lowest and most vulnerable rung of
society, all but guaranteeing that he recidivates.
And so ends the ill-fated exercise of wishing one’s
politicians shared one’s love of rap. However, taking up the crux of the
aforementioned issues if/when she’s elected president really would be a nice
way for Hillary to redeem a few of her already scant trill-points.
This got very soap-boxy, very quickly. But don’t be alarmed.
These are mere observations.
I don't think you're fully appreciating what is about to happen here. If you do, then you are free to go home. If not, prepare to be filled in. Drake is about to retake the winter with his upcoming album, Nothing Was the Same--scheduled for release this Tuesday. And personally, I cannot wait.
Just as Jay-Z has held down the summer (a typical time for unbridled fun, living only for the moment, and a reacquaintance with irresponsibility), Drake is establishing himself as rap's Jack Frost, giving us music for that cold, harsh season of imposed solitude.
Perhaps it is for these reasons that you still may not fucks with Drake. You'd prefer to listen to the consistently upbeat (by comparison) musical stylings of a Jay-Z, or a 2 Chainz, or a Lil Wayne (all of whom Drizzy has collaborated with...decent evidence of his versatility and talent I'd say--at the risk of excessive cosigning)--individuals who, respectively:
-rap about having so much dominion over the genre to really have any worries
-are not shy about their penchant for molly and weed, and pine only sarcastically about loving bad bitches and liking to fuck
OR
-literally have a song entitled "I Ain't Got No Worries"
But alas, you poor, summer-born child. Like he did in early 2009 with So Far Gone (before the release of which I had failed to look past what I knew about Degrassi's "Jimmy" and realize the truth), and again in late 2011 with an ambivert's anthem in the form of Take Care, Drake has returned to remind you that life is not some big party.
If you live roughly anywhere above the 38th Parallel (as a vast, though possibly underrepresented set of rap fans do), your life is (more likely than not) more like this:
...than it is like this:
To put it another way, fans of his music appreciate the bravery in Drake's admission that the environment of The North (read: Toronto) leaves him more inclined to feel like this:
...than to feel like this:
Those of us who live in climates that are almost inhospitably cold for most of the year have to live different lifestyles than the scenes of L.A., Miami, and Hot-lanta that recent rap-canon has placed at the fore of general consciousness. It's been a nice September, August, and July (not as much June though). Like most every year, we enjoyed the short-lived luxury of bee-lining it out of work/class/internship/whatever, right to the bar that has the best tuesday, and just playing it by ear for the rest of the night. Everyone's going everywhere, and everywhere something's going on.
But now it's back to regular business. Forget weekday activities. Forget where you're going out. Now, it won't take much to talk you out of going out at all. On a given winter's night, your friends with girlfriends will invariably be with their girlfriends. You can't blame them. For at this time of year, when it comes to satisfactorily occupying your free time, one must always go with the safe bet.
Your safe bet will involve briefly doing rock-paper-scissors with your remaining friends/roommates to determine who will have to put on their layers, and run across the snow-covered street to the liquor store to get the Jack Daniels for a shoulder-shruggingly exciting night in. Summer's would-be empassioned campaigns to go to So-And-So's "party," has been reduced to an armchair concession of a mere rumor that So-And-So is "might be having people over"--at which point the decision is made unanimously that it would be too much trouble to go...even if the facts could be better confirmed.
By the time the mounted iPod has gotten to the "Lord Knows" track, the conversation has naturally turned to whether So-And-So is still with Whatsherface. And after a beat in the discussion, your friends ask you why it didn't work out with Whatsherface's friend, Ol' Girl... because "she seemed really into you, bro." Then you all lapse into your own anecdote about how ambiguously you left things with Kate, or Lizzy, or whatever unsettlingly cliche woman's name applies at the time.
It's not a glamorous way to spend the majority of your year. Maybe it's not even an ideal way. But it's real... and Drake is there with you in the background, getting the highlight stories of your blase lifestyle to rhyme.
The man told you his junior and senior albums "will only get meaner." Get thou ready for 11th grade.
click here to check out the Drizzy interview containing some of the ideas this post echoes:
